The good news, though – my pace has been quickening.  Endurance – holding on to that quicker pace for a longer period of time – has been difficult.  I’ve felt what a 9 min / mile pace is like, though.  In Central Park, with those rolling hills, maintaining a 9 minute pace is not easy for a guy that is carrying way too much weight still.  But I’ve got a taste of what it feels like to push myself at the pace I’ll need to maintain for 3 hours….and right now – IT SUCKS!  LOL

Where I come from, being called a “rat” was one of the biggest insults one guy could throw at another.  I still believe that, to this day.  No one likes a rat.  So Canseco is, technically, a tool.

In addition: McGwire is a liar – we have that confirmed now.  We got a strong hint of that when he sounded like a tool in front of Congress – not confirming or denying what he used and when.  But let’s be honest with ourselves: we all knew he was juicing in 1998.  They found andro in his locker that very year – but andro was not illegal at the time, as far as MLB was concerned.  Besides….MLB needed McGwire and Sosa’s HR race in 1998 to get people intrested in the sport again, after the 1994 strike.  And the HR race did it’s job very well.  So McGwire is also a tool.

LaRussa had the most dominent team of the late 80′s and early 90′s, and he only came away with one title. He comes across as arrogant (just my opinion), and he always seemed to over-think a very simple, fun game.  So I always thought he was a tool.  HOWEVER: if he’s going to tell everyone that he never knew anything about steroids in his locker room….he’s a bigger tool than I thought.

I don’t think that it’s drastically inaccurate for me to make this blanket statement: most of us fans strongly suspected guys like Bonds, McGwire, Giambi, etc. to be “on the juice”.  The older they got, the bigger and stronger they became.  When you hat size increases when you’re in your late 30′s / early 40′s….I’m fairly certain THAT’S not natural.  I – like many of us out here – didn’t want to talk about the 800 pound gorilla in the room, which was “if these guys are breaking HR records with the help of steroids….is that fair?”  This question begs a debate of what’s more important – the player’s inherent talent to hit / pitch a ball better than anyone else in the sport, or the juice the player adds to their system which allows them to hit the ball further / throw the ball harder for longer periods of time.  My thought on this: they call steroids performance ENHANCING drugs.  Not “performance normalizing drugs”, or “performance stabilizing drugs”.  They don’t guarantee to make you average – they are designed to provide an edge over the opposition – which is why players pay so much money and take on the reputational risk of taking them….to increase their contract value and/or help them secure roster spots the next year.  The older a player gets, the harder it is to keep up with the youngsters coming into the league. 

While I can understand the idea of wanting to be the very best athlete I can be – I am a marathon runner in my late 30′s that is extremely slow and is looking to run fast enough (at some point over the next couple of years)  to qualify for the Boston Marathon – I respect the difficulty that resides in training daily, dealing with injuries, and becoming frustrated at my level of performance lagging my desires and/or expectations.  But if I qualified for Boston by using steroids to increase my endurance and speed, I would feel like I cheated – I would feel like I didn’t earn it, despite all of the hard work I put forth.  And it would take away from the accomplishment of crossing the finish line and wearing the coveted golden unicorn medal that’s drpaed around every Boston finisher’s neck.  So does hitting 70 or 73 HRs while juiced up feel like a huge accomplishment for Bonds or McGwire?  Only they can answer that.  But each day they’ll have to deal with demons: could they have earned their accomplishments naturally?

How a person does something is just as important as the results.  To not just accomplish a feat or win a game…but to do so honorably.

I’m going to keep this entry short, as I’ve developed a throbbing headache that’s persisted regardless of the Tylonol I pop.  I hit the gym lightly today and I ran for 30 minutes.

I do have to admit: my motivation is waining.  I have 6 weeks until Ft. Lauderdale…and I’m not sure where my training stands.  It’s hard to judge jogging on a treadmill.

No running today – I’m way too cranky.   I am content to just sulk and let my body rest for a day.

I realized something about myself…..I AM INCREDIBLY BORING.  I tried running for 20 minutes at a 9:30 pace this afternoon in the gym, and it left like the machine’s countdown would NEVER hit 0:00.  When I’m running in Central Park (on days that aren’t cold 80,000 degrees below zero), I use my time constructively.  It might be the freash air.  Maybe it’s the feeling of being surrounded by nature.  It could be the simple fact that I’m running in the same park that I finished 5 marathons in.  Whatever the reason(s) might be, running in the Park allows me to focus on things that I need to get done and problems I need to sort out.  I’ve developed business ideas while climbing the hill in the northwest corner.  I’ve ironed out presentations while pacing myself up the east side drive.  Bottom line: running in Central Park stirs my creative juices.   So why is it that, while running on a treadmill, the only thought that passes through this hollow shell better known as my cramium is the static that one hears on Channel Five when it down off the air after playing the Star Spangled Banner at 4am?  (I know – that’s an old-school reference – but trust me, it’s valid).  I need to make running on the treadmill more entertaining.  Any ideas?  Please leave a comment!

Summary for today:

DIET – still sucks.  Cereal for breakfast.  Lunch was 3 lentil chili…and yes, that IS as boring as it sounds.

Ran 5k today, and my left heel is tweaked.  I’m afraid my injury (planter facitis – or however you spell the damn thing) is coming back to haunt me.  I have new running shoes (Brooks – God I love their shoes), so my equipment cannot be the cause.  Any amateur doctors reading this?  If so, I need a 30 second diagnosis….

I’ll begin the year by running the A1A Marathon in Ft. Lauderdale on February 21st. From what the website says, it’s flat and fast. 

I’m thinking about running Napa on March 7th – but the entrance fee is surprisingly expensive for this one!  So I’m still pondering this one.

the NYC Half Marathon has my name all over it on March 21st.  Great course and lots of fun!

My second definite marathon will be the Ocean Drive Marathon in NJ on 3/28.  Another flat and fast course.

Marathon number three will be the Tacoma City Marathon in Washington on May 2nd.  This marathon is the Marathon Maniacs reunion marathon – which is why I am choosing to run it.  Should be interesting!

Marathon #4: Rock n Roll San Diego on June 6th.  D Day for me possibly, as it will give me a great sense of my endurance because of the hills late in the race. 

Thinking about running Lake Placid the weekend after Rock n Roll (June 13th) – but the verdict is out on this one.  I have read that this one is rough.

Marathon #5: Rock n Roll Seattle.  Always wanted to see Seattle. 

Marathon #6: Hartford.  Loved the flat course last year.  This feels like a local race with an out-and-back design.  I PR’d here last year.  And the locals are very cool!  This will be my last one before NYC, and it gives me a month to finalize my preparation.

Marathon Lucky #7 is NYC (if I don’t add any others into the mix beforehand).  Here’s where I’m shooting for 3:59.  The hills are rough here, so I might be biting off more than I can chew with this goal time.  But we’ll see…..

The last marathon of the year for me will be Las Vegas in early December.  December 5th, I think.  This will be sort of a reward for me…..how weird does THAT sound!

Still having a real problem with portion control on my meals.  I have limited my calories for breakfast…and my lunch I feel like I could eat the arm of my chair with a bit of BBQ sauce.

I’ve also officially begun my running / gym schedule.   5k (3.1 miles) in 30 minutes on the treadmill and 25 minutes in the gym.  I haven’t had the wontons yet to begin focusing time in the gym on my abs – it’s going to suck, therefore it will NOT be fun…therefore I am completely unmotivated to work them yet.  LOL.

With the new year comes a sense of excitement.  I look forward to pushing myself – testing my limits.  I’m going to schedule a number of marathons throughout the year to gauge where my training is.  However, on a fun note: I earned Marathon Maniac status by running 2 marathons in 2 weeks.  It’s a small club of 2,114 members (of which I am number 2,114).  Most of the runners in this club are die-hards that can (and will) run me right out of my shoes, I’m sure.  But the way I see it, I can learn from them, develop some great friendships, and maintain or even increase my motivation to push myself harder than ever. 

So – for those of you playing the home game – here’s my tip of the day: running is a lonely enough sport on race day.  If you can, train with a friend or join a team and run in a group.  There truly is stregnth in numbers.